Homecoming was this weekend and I had a wonderful time. I haven’t been to homecoming in two years and had no plans to do so this year until my best friend talked me into it. We went nonstop from 11 a.m. to 4 a.m. and my knees reminded me Sunday morning that they are no longer 20 years old. I really needed this time to reconnect with old friends and heal from my breakup.
Yes, I am single again.
Please don’t DM or text me asking about it. No, there won’t ever be a blog about it.
Back to this weekend…I had a good time. And then I saw the biggest regret of my late-teens. To conceal his identity, I’ll refer to this man as Vick. I don’t even know where to begin with this story but it starts with me regretting the thought of settling down and being a good girlfriend at such a young age.
So.
Let’s set the scene. The year was 2007. The first iPhone debuted, Britney Spears shaved her head, Anna Nicole Smith died, Irreplaceable was the #1 song in the country, and I was a sophomore in college living out a ghetto episode of Maury in my dorm.
If you know the story, you know the story. Jesus that story…
As you all know, in college, I had high hopes of becoming a news reporter. I took all of my journalism classes extremely seriously. That particular semester I was taking intro to video production. Our assignment was to go out and conduct interviews surrounding current events in the area. I decided to interview the volunteer coordinator at a local community center for at-risk youth. Earlier in the semester, I’d volunteered at the center with my students from my Peer Mentor class. I’d met Vick earlier in the semester and it was easy to get a quick interview with him. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. This was at a time in my life when I was highly confident and nothing ever scared me. I walked in, gave Vick a brief rundown about the interview, mic’d him up, and set up my camera. Vick brie f ly delayed the interview because he had something in his eye. His eye was getting super irritated to the point where he was in tears. He asked me to look to see if I saw anything in his eye. I leaned over, wiped the tear from his cheek, and blew in his eye. Then we both froze. No one said a word…we just stared at each other.
It was like a scene from a Hallmark movie.
Then I said, “Alright, let’s begin the interview.” Everything went great. He was a pro. At the end of the interview, he started to ask me personal questions and I immediately let him know that I had a boyfriend, packed up my camera and told him goodbye.
Me when I got in the car:
I’d never made eyes with anyone else since my boyfriend and I met, but there was something about this guy that I found intriguing. He was a very handsome, well-spoken intellectual with the most adorable smile. I temporarily deleted the thought of being attracted to Vick from my head and went on my merry way.
Two weeks later…my boyfriend storms into my room and says, “Who is Vick?”. I replied, “A guy that I interview a few weeks ago. Why?” My boyfriend said, in a heated tone, “I don’t know. You tell me. We have an Econ class together and he always asks about you. He doesn’t even speak to me, he just asks questions about you.”
Me:
Sorry to this man. I had no explanation. Why was Vick asking about me? Jesus. We got into a huge blowout over something I didn’t even do. There’s gotta be a word to explain a deep feeling of remorse although you’ve done nothing wrong. (I checked Google..don’t have time to continue digging..let me know in the comments) I became apologetic and overcompensated in other areas of our relationship to appease the situation although I did nothing wrong.
A few days later, I ran into Vick.
We were walking in each other’s direction near a building where I was supposed to be meeting my boyfriend. I didn’t need any more drama in my life. While I didn’t want to be rude to Vick, I feared the repercussions of my boyfriend seeing Vick and I together. Again…I’ve done nothing wrong.
Vick approached me and asked if I wanted to attend a volunteer Christmas party at the community center. I told him I wasn’t sure. It sounded like a great idea, but my boyfriend and I were glued at the hip. I didn’t accept any invites unless he could come along.
Me looking back at me:
Vick told me to think about it and to get back to him. I smiled and nodded with no intention of getting back to him. This was the first time that my boyfriend had shown jealous tendencies and I wasn’t interested in being in the same room with either of them.
About a month later, finals roll around and I’m super focused on getting my life together before the holiday break. One evening, I was in the zone reciting terminology for an exam in my head when I heard someone say, “Tyler.” I look up and it’s Vick. He’s sitting in his car smiling at me.
Me looking at Vick:
He said, “Get in. Let’s go to the Christmas party.” I said, “No thanks.” He said, “Are you sure? I’ll bring you back.” The future hoe in me wanted to ride. The loyal girlfriend in me insisted I decline the invite. In a solemn voice, I said to Vick, “I better not.” He said he understood and I stood there alone as the good girlfriend and watched him drive away.
There are pivotal moments that will forever change the course of your life. At 19 years old, this was it for me. I’ll never know what would’ve transpired between Vick and me had I got in his car. What I do know is, getting in would’ve saved me from a relationship that turned abusive the next semester when I found out my boyfriend was talking to another girl and flirting with other girls using Honest Box on Facebook.
You gotta love a good scam.
All that time he was pressing me about Vick, he was looking for cheap attention online. Ten years later I’d see the same thing unfold. So much for being the good girlfriend.
That’s the story of Vick. We’ve remained friends on Facebook and Twitter and when I do go to homecoming, I give him a church hug. The truth is every time I see him, I die a little inside.
Over the last 12 years, he’s rose to prominence for his work. That doesn’t impress me because auntie is poppin’ too. Over the summer, I was at the gym and I looked up and saw Vick on TV. I smiled. I thought to myself, “Everything worked out the way it should. Vick is doing good for himself, so are you and you’ve found the love of your life. It wasn’t meant for you to get in that car.”
Me looking back at me:
And now we’re back to this past weekend. I ran into Vick at homecoming, but he didn’t get a church hug. Shit, I squeezed him, said hello and went on my merry way.
Later that night, I went to the party…and when I got in line I turned and he was standing next to me.
We got inside and although we never spoke a word, our eyes danced all night.
I played it cool. I’m fresh out of a relationship and not interested in entertaining anything new. To be honest, I’m all about my work again. It’s safer there. Well…after two drinks, I had a change of heart. I winked at him…he winked back. Jesus.
About an hour later..
I looked up in VIP at Vick and did this..
Then I mouthed the words, “DM me.” He said, “Okay.”
The party ends and I’ve chatted with so many people at this point that I’ve briefly forgotten about my exchange with Vick. As I head to the door, he walks my way. Jesus. I’ve always been a forward girl and the spirits didn’t help. I looked at Vick and said, “Look..we gotta doing this. What’s good?” Vick whispered n my ear, “Text me.” I pulled out my phone and he gave me his number WHICH I ALREADY HAD SAVED. All this time I could’ve thrown it at him over the phone.
My girl and I went out to eat and met some interesting characters. Whew…it was a strange evening. Vick and I briefly text and then I made the big girl decision and ended our communication for the night. I’m 31 and too grown to be the 3 a.m. girl. Had this been 2009 or even 2013 this tale would’ve ended differently. But it is very dangerous to have lustful interactions when you’re already in a vulnerable state. I’ve grown tremendously over the years and I know for certain that I’d wind up feeling empty in the long run had I continued the text messages. Shit, this is an honest space. I need more than a night’s worth of attention. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my heart still belongs to another man, whether we’re together or not. You don’t bury love in one night.
Somethings are better off left at “what if?”. I guess I’ll see you next lifetime, Vick.
Dear friends, this isn’t the end of this tale. Let’s rewind to the year prior to meeting Vick: 2006. It was my freshman year of college. I’d been dating my boyfriend for about five months and at the time, we went to different schools. My mom gave me a word of advice before I left, “Tyler, don’t go to college with a boyfriend. You’re going to meet so many guys. I’m not telling you to sleep around, but I am telling you to make friends and get to know people from different backgrounds.”
Nah, I was so in love. There was no way that I was going to college and meeting another guy. I was holding out for my guy to transfer to my school.
Me looking back at me:
A month into school, I was in the computer lab frantically printing out a paper before my 8 a.m. writing class. A guy sat down beside me, but I didn’t look up from my computer. He told me his name but I didn’t bother to tell him mine. He then asked what year I was and I told him I was a freshman. I finished my paper, printed it out and stood up to head to class. The guy asked for my phone number. I responded, “I have a boyfriend.” He grinned and said, “That’s cool but you’re in college now, you should make friends.” I told him no and left.
Fast forward three years later. I was now a junior, single, and visiting home for the weekend. The school had mailed the alumni magazine. I opened it up and saw the alumni spotlight article recognizing the guy from the computer lab. He’d graduated and went on to working with a major sports team.
I didn’t get my boyfriend, Vick, or this man. I’m sick.
Yesterday morning I went to Twitter to air out my heartache.
I saw him yesterday… pic.twitter.com/U5n5omiGsi
— GirlTyler (@sheistyler) November 18, 2019
I gotta write a short film or something about this… because I am H U R T. pic.twitter.com/4SncDZZ75t— GirlTyler (@sheistyler) November 18, 2019
I’m sick.
— GirlTyler (@sheistyler) November 18, 2019
The majority of my followers encouraged me to shoot my shot.
Others want me to pass him around.
Be your sister’s keeper and DM his info. ??♀️
— Kish (@silentnakisha) November 19, 2019
Don’t be fooled by this blog title. I believe in love and loyalty. When I am in a relationship, I am very loving, attentive, and commited to building a solid foundation. No DM, invitation, Instagram likes, or remaining “friends” with my ex(es) can keep me from being honest to the one I’m with. Many people are half -hearted and all it takes is one dusty ass on Instagram or text messages to lead them astray. Not me.
I often feel as if Vick thinks I curved him back in the day which is furthest from the truth. I didn’t curve him, instead, I chose to be loyal to the guy I loved. Loyalty is a trait that was hard to find then and it’s for damn sure a rarity nowadays. Being the good girlfriend comes with many perks especially when you’re good to a man that is deserving.
I should’ve got in that damn car.
