I went to Atlanta recently to celebrate a bestie’s 40th birthday and it hit me like a ton of bricks – this will be me next year, lord willing! FOUR-OH. It made me think about clichés: 40 is the new 30; 40 and fabulous; fabulous at 40; life begins at 40…Yada yada. But beyond that, I thought about my friends well into their 40’s, those who just turned 40, and the soon-to-be 40 year olds.
While they’re all different some are married, others are single, two have special needs children, another is an entrepreneur and there’s one who isn’t satisfied with where she is in life. They all share three things in common, which is good to know before I join the 40 club myself. Check out this quick list that has brought me relief.
1. Live Life on your Own Terms
So we’ve all had checklists of things we thought we’d have by a certain age or milestones we’d reach so we could check it off the list. After all, it’s very liberating to check things off a list! Sometimes, we have items based on what friends and fam or society has dictated.
While it’s great to have lists, what’s on the list should NOT define you. Neither should timing! Whether/not you meet your self-imposed deadline, just remember that the important thing is to do what makes you happy. Doesn’t matter when you do it, just do it!
Take Alicia M., a Charlotte transplant from Baltimore and a recent card-carrying member of the 40 year old club. Alicia wants marriage, kids, the whole nine! But that hasn’t stopped her from living her life to the fullest. When she’s not cheering for her beloved Baltimore Ravens (I know, let’s not go there lol least she’s not a fairweather fan, right), she runs marathons and travels. Alicia started running at the “tender” age of 36 and ran her first half-marathon at 39. Her mantra: “Don’t worry, be happy!” Amen, Alicia!
2. Stay Fabulous
Who doesn’t want to look like Halle, JLo, Angela Bassett, Sandra Bullock or Sofia Vergara! Women over 40 who could give some of the 20- or 30-something year olds out there a run for their money! We all do! Truth is, regardless of body type or shape or AGE, we can all look fab at any age, ladies. And let’s keep it real, whether you like it or not, your appearance matters.
A favorite quote of mine is by celebrity stylist and designer, Rachel Zoe.
Style doesn’t=expensive, designer, luxury. You can be stylish on a budget, ladies! So no excuses for just rolling out of bed! Put your best foot forward: make an effort before walking out that door. It’ll boost your confidence!
Ask Tomi O, a 40+ lady who found her style at 38. Tomi decided to pay more attention to her appearance and dressing for her figure. It has done wonders for her confidence and productivity at work as well. It’s amazing how much looking and feeling great can boost a girl’s confidence!
3. Be Thankful Everyday
We all lose sight of what we have, focusing instead on what we don’t have or what we should have had by now. But life isn’t perfect and we can only control what we can, right?! Don’t sweat the small stuff and always remember, it could be a whole lot worse!
My dad is sick right now and it saddens me. However, when I remember friends who have lost a parent or both parents and how they’d give anything to have theirs back, I give thanks.
Lisa A. could teach us a thing or two about this. She’s a recently-turned 40 year old who feels she hasn’t quite done everything she hoped she would have accomplished by 40. Lisa doesn’t beat herself up. Instead, she keeps things in perspective because she is always thankful for where she is. She has family and friends who care about her and that’s worth being thankful for!
You may not be where you want to be yet but it’s all about your mindset and how you choose to embrace where you are.
Just rock with it:
Who you are
Where you are
What you have
Balance what you can control versus what you can’t
And most importantly, ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!
Tokes Ojo-Ade is a fashion/style blogger and Style Consultant at 2lookbooks.com where she provides style inspiration to everyday working women. She is also a Marketing professional with over 17 years experience in the Financial Services industry and a wanna-be DJ. She lives in Bowie, Maryland with her husband Wole and two little girls: Dara and Demi. Check out her blog at 2lookbooks.com.