My final blog of 2014 received the most traffic since I started blogging two years ago. I figured my journey was popular because people were either looking for New Year’s resolution material or genuinely interested in what I had learned. Walking into 2015 came with strides of confusion and unhappiness like no other. I was ready for change, but there is no magic broom to clean up the mess in life when the clock strikes midnight to a new year. Fast forward seven months later and I have even more clarity yet so much more to learn.
7. It’s Okay To Occasionally Go Off The Grid..
Making disappearance acts brings moments to recharge and regroup. Some days I can be a social butterfly, others not so much. I’ve found it essential to step away from everyone and rejuvenate my focus. It’s easy to get caught up with the dealings in the lives of others and lose sight of your own. I enjoy spending time alone and focusing on my thoughts. Silence the noise around you and turn up the volume inside. You’d be surprised how often we ignore ourselves while tirelessly keeping up with everyone else. Just walk away, just know when to come back.
6. Check Your Prayers
How often do you tell someone in distress, “I’ll be praying for you” only to return to your same routine of selfishly complaining to God about your own troubles. Or in my case, I’d briefly mention someone’s problem to God then never revisit it because at the time, my circumstances were of high importance and needed to reach heaven before anything else. Praying priorities. It wasn’t until I was in bible study and a good friend leading our group mentioned her model for praying.
Set an alarm in the morning to pray for yourself.
Set the alarm in the afternoon to pray for someone else.
Take a book with you to keep prayers going all day long.
Do you know how much discipline and diligence it takes to stop your daily routine and focus on someone else in the form of prayer? Not only are you carving time out of your day, but you’re sharing your alone time with God on the behalf of someone else.
She truly made an impression on me one day at work when I was extremely overwhelmed, exhausted and just fed up with everyday nonsense. I maintained my composure and told her that I was just having a bad day. She told me to meet her in the dressing room, I followed and there she held out her hand to mine and began praying on my behalf. She had about 15 minutes before she needed to go on-air for the show, along with putting the finishing touches on her makeup and go over her scripts. Instead of putting me to the side, she saw a need in me that could not wait. As tears flowed down my face, I was silently thanking God for Kristine.
This is the kind of prayerful woman I’d like to model.
5. Be Yourself
Simple idea yet so hard to master. I never noticed how much I fashioned my life according to the comfort levels of others. It was not until recently that I felt as though I could 100% be myself. So often I heard people say, “you’re doing the most” or “you’re too much”. I may be all of these things, but you all continue to watch. While I have people on one side telling me to dim my light, I had so many others telling me that my infectious personality often keeps them from crying. So here I am stuck in the middle not wanting to annoy people yet trying my best to talk others off of a ledge with my comedy. Other days, when I didn’t have too many words to utter, everyone wanted to know if I was okay and why I was so quiet. Seriously? What do you people want?
It became so exhausting. For too long I wouldn’t speak publicly in constant worry of how others would react. Will I step on their toes or will they love me? It sounds like the troubles of a 12 year old. No, it’s the never ending uncertainty of 26-year-old Tyler Young. I spent hours constantly going back and forth wondering how people perceived me. I had three colleagues at one time tell me that I was an attention seeker and should admit that I like to put on a show. As untrue as this maybe, I looked at how dull and unpleasant their personalities were only to realize they were jealous of my ability to boldly be myself. Humans can break your spirit, only if you put yourself in a space to be breakable. I’d be lying if I said the opinions of others were unimportant, sometimes I do care. My only regret here is once allowing people to make me believe that it wasn’t okay to be me.
“You cannot be a manager over other people’s feelings.” -Tyler Young
4. Face It…There Are People Rooting For You to Fail
They smile in your face…backstabbers! You know how the song goes. The sooner you realize some people have no interest in your success, nor do they have to, the better off you’ll be. It is rather disheartening to find out that the people you held to such a high regard do not have your best interest in mind. What can you do about it? Your success can frighten others. Give them the scare of a lifetime and go after what you want.
Everyone is not the bad guy, but not every good guy wants you win either.
3. Stay In Touch
I am terrible at returning texts, Facebook messages and emails. Just like everyone else, I become so overwhelmed with life that I forget the importance of maintaining relationships. I’ve become so exhausted chasing friendships where I was doing the majority of the legwork. While I’m trying to make new friends, the ones who have been there for years and years are repeatedly seeking my attention. I think about them a lot, but they would never know since I do not communicate as much as I should. After a while, I noticed there were so many others doing the chasing while I was on another track running a race all on my own. Sometimes it’s not new friends that you need, it’s strengthening the bonds with the ones that were already there.
2. God Does Not Care About Your Discomfort
The last 10 months were a topsy-turvy of emotions on a roller coaster ride of unhappiness. Some days were good, others werent’. I tried to settle and go along to get along, but my spirit became increasingly uncomfortable. When I finally stopped trying to do things on my own, I listened to God. He had put the answer to my troubles on the table months before yet I wasn’t not emotionally ready to go after it. I was happy two days out of the week and angry five of the others. Yes, Saturday and Sunday were my only days of peace. I tried to settle for those two days but I needed more. Complaining didn’t get the job done. I prayed for patience and He made me wait.
When you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, ask God to clear the path. He will when He’s good and ready. The question is, are you ready? He won’t move just because you say to. You have to go through it to get to it.
1. Only Make Moves When Your Heart’s In It
A quote directly from the Notorious B.I.G. If it doesn’t feel right, then chances are your intuition is what you should really pay close attention to. Learning to spot a red flag from a distance will save you a great deal of heartache. As I navigate through life, I’ve learned to depend on my discernment. While I may not have full clarity when I make decisions, the answer will always reveal itself.