Coming to grips with post-undergraduate life is a scary thought. Four years, maybe six for others, have flown by and the crap that you once pulled, quickly becomes unacceptable the moment that you take on a real job. Old habits certainly die hard even 10 years after graduation. Check out this list of ways to tell that you just can’t shake college.
10. WORK ASSIGNMENTS ARE COMPLETED BY THE SKIN OF YOUR TEETH
College was for a grade. Your job is for a paycheck. Retaking a course is far simpler than standing in the unemployment line. Do you really want to play Russian roulette with adulthood?
9. SOCIAL MEDIA SERVES AS YOUR SOCIAL VALIDATION
The number of followers or Facebook friends cannot determine your self-worth. There’s a fine line between online entertainment and seeking acceptance. Just because people “like” your posts doesn’t mean that they necessarily “like” you. Build a social life that is tangible.
8. POOR DIET HABITS
What went down in the campus cafeteria can quickly catch up with you. The garbage you ate at age 18 won’t fly at 25. Preserve your body and make healthier choices. Metabolism is real.
7. DRINKING LIKE YOU HAVE NO LIVER
Most college students are drunks. Flash forward five years: if you drink more liquor than water, you might want to see someone for help.
6. NAPPING IS LIKE YOUR OLYMPIC SPORT
College presented opportunities to fall asleep at any given moment. Back to back classes and partying was exhausting. Sometimes it was necessary to even skip class to catch up on some z’s. Try taking a snooze at your cubicle and tell me how that works out for you.
5. YOU STILL MAKE OUT WITH RANDOMS AT PARTIES
This isn’t a game. Herpes Simplex I ruins lives.
4. YOU STILL MAKE APPEARANCES AT CAMPUS FUNCTIONS
And I’m not talking Alumni events. The class of 2018 should not know of your existence. Let it go and learn to mingle with adults.
3. MOM AND DAD RELIGIOUSLY BAIL YOU OUT OF JAMS
Now that you’re grown, give your parents a chance to enjoy the empty nest. Let them walk around butt naked like they used to before you were born, without having to worry about you popping up unexpectedly with petty drama.
2. EVERY NIGHT IS “TURNT UP” NIGHT
Your body needs rest! One cannot simply party all night like the good ole days. Bask in adulthood but learn to enjoy quiet nights at the house.
1. YOU’RE TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT
Don’t lie. The only thing you haven’t seemed to figure out is why you don’t want to grow up. Everyday presents a new opportunity to get closer to where you need to be. Embrace the journey.
