11 Lies I Tell Myself When a Man Doesn’t Text Back

I really don’t have time to blog today, but I can’t hold this in. I consider it a personal attack when someone I’m interested in doesn’t text back. No warning. No explanation. No nothing, Jesus. Just silence.

It’s not even the fact that a man completely ghosted me or was rude enough to abruptly cease all communication. I take issue with the time we’ve invested. Do you know I currently have 40+ unread text messages and 3,487 unread emails yet I bothered to carry a conversation with you? That’s a different kind of disrespectful. My fingers prioritized you when really I could’ve been working on another masterpiece instead of sending a text that appears to be lost in space.

I’m insulted.

I recognize that people have real full-time jobs and I have seven side hustles that make for one career meaning I have more time to text. I get it. But sir, I’m busy too. I gotta really like you to take my attention from my writing. And trust, I don’t like most people. If a man fails to respond to my text, I reject the notion that I’m “overcommunicating” or he’s “not good at texting.”

Have you ever met me? I probably talked your ear off when we met. Of course I’m going to do the same when we text. This is unacceptable.

To ease my mind about the fact that I got curved, here are 11 excuses that I tell myself when a man rejects me via text.

11.  He got called for jury duty and the bailiff took his phone

bailiff

By the time he got his phone back, he had so many messages that mine got lost in the shuffle.

10. He’s with his girlfriend and she’s probably looking over his shoulder, therefore he can’t respond because of her hating ass

latoyajackson

Yeah. He probably has a girlfriend. Re: Dexter.

9. God told him not to text me back

notonmywatch

You can’t argue with God. Maybe I am poisonous fruit.

8. The New Edition Story came on BET and he got sucked in

new edition gif

The movie is so damn good. It’s hard to turn away. I watch all six hours every time BET airs it like I don’t know how the story ends; Ronnie still doesn’t sing.

7. He fell asleep and when he woke up, he forgot to respond…30 days ago

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6. He’s depressed and too ashamed of his emotions to talk

Photo: Tumblr
Photo: Tumblr

I mean, we are living in an alternate universe called the Trump era. Unless you’re a straight white male (or their wives), no one is safe. That sentence is real and sad AF, but sir, I’m trying to love you. Don’t run from it. Sadly, I love black men even when they don’t love me back.

5. He met a cultural appropriating white girl, now he’s in a sunken place

sunken place gif

Happens every day, bih.

4. He met a cultural appropriating white man, now he’s in a sunken place

sunken place gif

It’s starting to happen every day, bih.

3. During a trip to Atlanta, he was taken against his will and is being held hostage in R. Kelly’s cult

r. kelly

I don’t know what Robert Kelly is into these days.

2. He thinks I’m ugly

sheneneh gif

On second thought, I pulled this man. So fuck that excuse.

1. When I hit send, the text got lost in some cell tower wires

sprint guy gif

Technical difficulties. He never got my text, yeah, that’s why I haven’t heard from him.

I gotta be realistic. Mama didn’t raise no fool. These are all excuses to stroke my ego and put a bandage over the real issue at hand. The truth of the matter is, the reason why he didn’t text me back is that he lost interest. It’s okay for someone to lose interest in you. Man’s rejection is often God’s protection. I lived my life before him and will continue living long after he’s gone.waving

I can’t believe I blogged this. I really had time tonight. If we’re being honest here, my phone has been drier than a yeast infection over the last year. Ain’t nobody texting my ass.

Photo Credit: Glamour Magazine
Photo Credit: Glamour Magazine

 

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