Can we talk about this man with the flowers and hot-n-ready pizza?

So. I keep seeing this man.


Not sure who he is, where he’s from or where he was going when this photo was snapped. On the surface, he looks like a man with flowers and a pizza, nothing more or nothing less than what is presented. What I do know is that I loathe the Internet.

Photo: Tumblr
Photo: Tumblr

You think you’re seeing one thing and then quickly realize you’re getting set up for the okie doke.

Back to the man with the pizza. This photo circulated on IG and Facebook last week after someone gave this unsuspecting individual a struggle.

Take a look at the caption.


What we can gather here is that this man did not pose for this photo and in another thread, he is being teased. From here, none of us really know this man. You don’t know his life. I don’t know his life. And now, because people are poking fun at his exterior making him a charity case. People play too much.

This is the shit that gets you turned into a meme.

Even on my Facebook page, I fell for another variation of this photo that read, “Ladies, what do you think?”. My first response was to share the picture on my page with a word of advice. I wrote in all caps, “TAKE IT FROM MY SINGLE ASS EAT THE PIZZA ANNA MAE.” For those unfamiliar with what I am referring to, click here but please come back for the rest of today’s word.

The foolishness of this post got me caught up with this one simple line.

“This is more than likely a good man with no shame in what he can afford and do for his woman.”

Congregation, I ask, what makes this man photographed a good man? Buying a $5 hot-n-ready should not be the basis of selecting a prospective mate. How do we even know that he was buying the pizza and flowers for a significant other? This could be a man who is going to the hospital to see his mama or Aunt LulaMae and decided to take pizza and flowers to cheer her up. Also, what makes you think he’s heterosexual? How do we know the pizza and flowers are going to the same place? There are a number of scenarios that could play out here. The greater theme here is our perception of what is real and “true love”.

Depending on who you are, a damn reheated pizza and flowers does not constitute as a pathway to love. Since when is pizza a dealbreaker? I do agree that material items do not create a foundation for love. For anyone seeking substance and longevity in a relationship,  materialism will kill the dream. BUT can we please stop with these unrealistic standards of love. Settling is not love. It’s not. Telling women that “well this is the best he can do, so you should deal with it” is sorcery. Why should I settle for a man that can buy me a $5 pizza when the next man can take me to Italy to eat the finest wines and flatbreads? If I don’t want the $5 hot-n-ready, that does not make me bougie or a bad person. I just don’t want the damn $5 hot-n-ready.

If anything, it means I have options. Stop telling women that the only choice we have is the one in front of us. Just stop. It’s not true.

On the contrary, if you can’t afford your own specialty pizza, then surely you should not judge a man who tries to court you with one. It’s like people who are in the worst shape of their lives and look down on others in poor physical shape. How can you hold someone to a higher standard when you cannot abide by on your own?

In love and dating, I believe you should hold people to the same requirements that you hold for yourself. If you can’t obtain it, don’t expect someone else to go through leaps and bounds to fulfill this illogical perception of love. It is 2017, chill with these archaic love rules. Just stop. Go for the gold. Stop entertaining an idea of love in people who are nice to you or perform nice gestures. Just because they treat you well, does not mean they’re your life partner. These memes asking women if they’ll date a man who drives a hooptie or one who is currently unemployed with a big heart are bogus. Pity doesn’t make for a partner.

Fall for the person who sets your soul on fire, not the one who is conveniently there with a grin on their face.

When I was really serious about dating and finding a perspective mate (back when President Obama had black hair), I went to a good friend of mine to seek advice. How do I know who’s right? Am I making a bad decision? Am I going to die single? The silliest things to be worried about at 22. At the time she had been married about 10 years and was with her husband for a total of about 15 years. She truly passed along amazing counsel.

“Tyler, now a buff body and supermodel looks are things you want in your early 20’s.  I don’t care what no woman says, don’t nobody want a big dick and hours long sex all of their life. It gets old. I’m telling you. As you get older, you will want security from a man. Looks will fade. I’m not saying to be repulsed by a motherf*cker, I’m just saying look for more than the physical.”

I’m sure I paraphrased much of her content, but still the message rings true.  She really challenged my thinking about the opposite sex, because I did think it was all about the man with the nice car, good job and buff body. I’ve had all of the above and none of them were right for me, and sometimes I wasn’t right for them.

To anyone looking for a partner, stop reading these damn memes and clouding your perception of love.

Back to the man in the photo, let’s at least hope his pizza wasn’t cold when he got home and the person he got the flowers for appreciates them. Most importantly, I pray he doesn’t see that he is a meme. That’s not sexy.

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I'm a girl. My name is Tyler. Girls can be named Tyler.

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