5 Benefits of Being Alone After a Relationship Ends

A lot of singles search for themselves in other people all because they do not know how to be alone. Even if you are dating or in a relationship, it is important to have a great sense of self. No matter the case, being by yourself can be awesome if you give yourself breathing room. Here are 5 reasons why being alone can be beneficial to your wellness.

1. You get to know YOU.

Photo Credit: shutterstock.com
Photo Credit: shutterstock.com

Sometimes when you’re fresh out of a relationship, you are trying to find your way back to who you were before the relationship or searching for ways to revitalize yourself now that your significant other is out of the picture. What do I look like without “us” or “we” is the new question. Often we lose ourselves in a relationship because we are catering to their partner’s needs (or not at all). But the luxury of ending a relationship is that you get to know YOU. You even learn that your “type” may not be your type. Your tastes have changed and you’re in tune with your likes and dislikes. If you keep attracting the same man or woman and keep having the same end result maybe it’s the energy you put out. And once you spend enough time alone you can sort out the things you are and aren’t willing to accept from someone in a relationship. Take time to date yourself. Who knows how to treat you better than you?

2. Respect the healing process.

Photo Credit: Shutter Stock
Photo Credit: Shutter Stock

Do not skip the healing process. If you’ve been out on a date recently all because of a rebound, people will notice two things about you: a.) You are not over your ex or b.) You are in it for a “situationship” (i.e. all the drama that comes with a relationship without the official title). If you have not fully evolved from the healing process, you may be pushed in the arms of someone that isn’t right for you and wake up with regrets. Worst case scenario, you’ll become their regret. Find clarity and keep your ears open to red flags. Only healing can put you in this space.

3. Embrace your freedom.

Photo Credit: toallyouprincesses.com
Photo Credit: toallyouprincesses.com

Nothing is better than running free without any explanation. If you feel like taking your bra off after having it on all day, do it. That feeling of relief is so amazing and no man would understand it. But, you are not abandoning everything with your new found freedom. You still have responsibilities, specifically to yourself. Get a manicure, pedicure, rock out in the gym, get your hair done, spend time with friends, read a book, try new things, etc. Just do something for you. Remember all those pet peeves your ex might have had about your endless quirks? Forget about all that…DO YOU! If you want to drink out of the juice bottle (if you live alone), sleep in a bonnet, or eat in the bed and wake up with crumbs everywhere (please clean up afterwards) feel free, it’s your world. Make no qualms about your self expression.

4. Renewed peace.

Photo Credit: Getty Images
Photo Credit: Getty Images

Do you hear that? Yeah, me either…It’s peace and quiet. But arguments and bickering are deafing…Who needs them? There’s no one yelling or making a fuss about trivial matters. There’s no trying to be perfect, crying, or stressing over someone who doesn’t deserve you in the first place. Enjoy your peace. Be at peace with yourself and whole. Relationships have their ups and downs, but once you’ve accepted your solitude, you’ll know how to handle the mess and quickly clean it up.

5. Learn your boundaries.

Photo Credit: bolywelch.com
Photo Credit: bolywelch.com

Take time to reflect on what you do and don’t want from your next relationship. People only treat you how you allow them to treat you. But you have to own up to what you will put up with and figure out what’s no longer acceptable moving forward. You can’t do this if you are in a relationship or situationship every five minutes. Some people think that it is impossible to be alone, but that is far from the truth. Being alone is the best thing you can do for you. Take time to yourself and stop looking for your better half. Be a better whole. Be a better YOU. How can you expect someone to treat you right when you aren’t used to taking care of yourself?

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Jobyna Terry
Dr. Jobyna Terry is a recent law school graduate from the Charlotte School of Law. Before coming to law school, Dr. Terry attended the Norfolk State University in Norfolk, Virginia. She also author of "Perfectly Brown" which came about after taking her Goddaughter to the library and noticing there were no brown children in books. Her next project called "Just Justice" will reflect blended families.
http://www.perfectlybrown.com

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