5 Stages of Paranoia When You Forget to Wax Before a Date

In the midst of swapping our daily giggles, a good friend of mine revealed something extremely personal about herself in a Facebook message that hit close to home.

Her name has been removed for privacy concerns.


I was like, damn son.

Photo Credit: Tumblr
Photo Credit: Tumblr

I’ve been there. Consumed by life, neglecting the God forsaken hair growing in abnormal areas of my body.

Photo Credit: BuzzFeed
Photo Credit: BuzzFeed

Guys will never understand the pain and torture women undergo just to be hair free.


The bewilderment in a man’s eyes is painful when he discovers you’re a mammal and can grow hair at a rapid speed just like him.


Five stages of paranoia settle in when you realize that you forgot to take care of your lady hairs while in the company of the opposite sex.


5. Frantically digging through your purse in hopes of finding tweezers for an execution style plucking.

Photo Credit: Seventeen.com
Photo Credit: Seventeen.com

4. Making direct eye contact, slowly dying inside, certain he’s spotted the patch of new growth.


3. Praying your date will take place in a poorly lit venue to shift the focus off what appears to be a landing strip of hair on your face.

2. Casually snapping a pic to send to your friends to see if they can see the disrespectful hair growth.


1. And if you never hear from him again, you’ll never know if it was the hair or he just doesn’t like you.

Photo Credit: BuzzFeed
Photo Credit: BuzzFeed

Ladies, we’re all in this together. Ingrown hair is an equal opportunity hater.


Besides, any man worth your time will look past your stubble.

Photo Credit: Giphy
Photo Credit: Giphy
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I'm a girl. My name is Tyler. Girls can be named Tyler. GirlTyler.com

2 thoughts on “5 Stages of Paranoia When You Forget to Wax Before a Date

  1. I’m kinda lax on armpits. I let my legs wolf out in winter. My chocha flourishes in every kind of weather. But what I will never EVER do is let my facial hair go awry. Like ever. Everything else can get a “oh, I forgot to shave. you’ll deal” but hairs on my chin would result in an emergency stop at Walgreen’s and a dry shave in the bathroom. Actually, I never would’ve gone about my day in the first place without making sure that was straight. It’s my line in the sand.

    My mom and I had a standing agreement that if either of us winds up incapacitated… in a coma, in a nursing home, whatever… and the other is still is of sound body and mind, whoever is capable will manage and tweeze the other’s face as necessary. And we were so serious. She had electrolysis a few years ago so the burden is all hers now.

    1. When I tell you I am howling at your response more the second time around than the first! I never thought of an accountability buddy for grooming. LOVE IT!

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