“And the moment you realize that the statistical, 1 in 2 black women who will never get married is you.”
Two minutes in and already you can hear your internal clock ticking like a time bomb. This line from With This Ring likely speaks volumes to any career driven, hopeless romantic chasing a fairy tale ending to her life as a single woman. Saturday night’s premiere of the romantic comedy on Lifetime, executively produced by Tracey Edmonds and Gabrielle Union, creates an open dialogue for women to assess their stance on “finding the one”.
Regina Hall, Eve and Jill Scott serve up beautiful performances as three best friends deeply tangled in unique “situationships”, likely to crash and burn at any moment. Trista (Hall) has yet to nail the coffin shut on a failed relationship with a former flame. Amaya (Eve) is delusional that her married boyfriend will leave his wife while in hopes of inheriting his fame and wealth. Viviane (Scott) has a good man, right in front of her face who just so happens to be the father to her son.
Making a vow with your girlfriends to be married in one year seems like a perfectly sane idea, right? What’s the worst that could happen? A thing called desperation settles in.
With the days flying by, the trio stoops to all-time lows in search of prospective candidates to wed. Sounds more like a political campaign than wedding planning. From online dating fiascos and missed opportunities to public embarrassment, their deadline inched closer with very few promising leads. Only one lucky lady makes it to the altar with no strings attached.
If you missed the premiere, I strongly urge you to watch (or grab the book it’s based from The Vow) with your girlfriends. Evaluate how you view relationships with the opposite sex and ask yourself if being married is something that you really want or is it just a signal of fulfilling societal standards. As the film suggests, being an unmarried, black 30-something woman carries a heavy burden. Lightening that load often comes with a desire to settle for less than what we deserve.
My biggest takeaway from With This Ring is that life is best lived on full. Fill your tank with as much optimism and freedom as possible. If finding a man is your thing, go for it! While you’re on a quest, don’t forget to inhale the goodness that comes with each day. Chances are, 365 of them will pass by and you’ll find a man while losing yourself. For my career hungry ladies, push the gas pedal to greatness while remembering to make time for yourself and love, even if it comes in the form of your family and girlfriends.
“If you spend all your time waiting on the job or the one, you’ll waste a perfectly good chance to be happy.”
This is perhaps the best quote from With This Ring. Being single is not a death sentence. Maneuvering through each day worrying about a deadline that may or may not happen is what will seal your fate.